Some pupils find it difficult to come to school and there are reports that emotionally based school avoidance has become an even bigger issue as a result of the Covid-19 pandemic. In this article, Dr Pooky Knightsmith offers five steps to re-engage with pupils who struggle to attend school


For a whole host of reasons, some children find it very difficult to come to school. Their persistent lateness or absence will ring alarm bells. We need to think carefully about the steps we take to understand and support the child and family so that we can break rather than reinforce the cycle of school avoidance.


1, The warning signs

The sooner we are able to pick up the early warning signs of emotionally based school avoidance (EBSA), the more able we are to have a swift and positive impact. The longer the issue continues, the more embedded cycles of avoidant and anxious behaviour will have become and the harder they will be to unpick.

Your school attendance data will provide key information and it is worth being curious about any child who is more late or absent than usual. But there are more subtle signs you can pick up too – the child who is arriving just on time (but not getting a late mark) or who seems distressed when they arrive at school. Similarly, children who seem to be engaging less in class or withdrawing from their friends may be at risk.

2, Understand problems


There will always be underlying reasons when a child is not finding it possible to engage positively with school, the next job is to find them. Unless we can understand what these reasons are, it will be very challenging to address them successfully and sustainably. We need to find ways to enable a child to begin to understand and tell their story.

Suspending judgement and taking an inquisitive rather than an accusative approach will often reap dividends. Useful phrases might include:

  • I wonder why...
  • I’ve noticed that...
  • Can you tell me more about...
  • How did it feel when...

When I am beginning to explore with a child or their family where an issue might lie, I find it helpful to use their timetable to walk through a typical day or week and consider how things feel from first thing in the morning to last thing at night.

I am looking for the good bits, tricky bits, and the bits in-between to try and build a picture of what is going on for the child. Are there faces or spaces that feel more or less safe for them? Can I see any patterns that help us to make sense of things?

While the issues will be different for every child, there are some common reasons for EBSA which can be worth exploring:

  • Bullying or teasing.
  • Academic challenge, pressure or difficulty catching up.
  • Fear of failure/low self-esteem.
  • Transition to a new class or school.
  • Difficult relationships with staff or students.
  • Loss, separation, bereavement or other traumatic events.
  • Family or personal history of EBSA.
  • High levels of stress at home.
  • Being a young carer.

You can also use the four domains of safety (Knightsmith, 2022) as a model to explore where there might be challenges.

  • Physical safety: I will not come to physical harm.
  • Social safety: I understand what is expected of me and what to expect of others. I can confidently interact with the people around me.
  • Emotional safety: It is safe for me to feel a range of different things. I feel seen and heard and, if needed, helped.
  • Cognitive safety: I can be bold and brave in my learning. It is okay for me to try new things, I do not fear making mistakes and I know where to find help.

We might wonder whether there are any ways in which school does not feel safe for the child and how we might change this.


3, Work with the family

Schools and families can often end up at loggerheads when a child is struggling to attend, with the family perceiving that the school is blaming them. Remember: we are all on the same side – that of the child. If we can find ways to work together as a team around the child, we are likely to make progress that is more rapid and sustainable. Sometimes, children who struggle to attend have parents who also found school a challenge, so our job is about breaking the cycle. Remembering that we are likely working with a parent who is physically and emotionally exhausted can help us to be more compassionate.

4, The child’s motivations


As you start to formulate a plan about how a child might be supported to engage more fully with school, consider things from the child’s point of view. They are the ones who will have to do the hard work and they are unlikely to stick with it if they are not motivated. Your motivations and the child’s might be very different, but if the end result is the same then there is every reason to use the child’s motivations to frame your actions. Factors that have motivated some children include:

  • Seeing my favourite teacher.
  • Break-time with my mates.
  • Lego club.
  • Football practice.

We might be worrying about their life chances or social development, but if football practice does the trick, go with it.


5, Support and celebrate

Once we understand the problem and have found a reason for the child to want to attend school, there is the small matter of making it happen. The key thing here is to break things down into tiny steps, so small that they feel manageable to the child (and supporting adults).

We also need to support and scaffold the taking of those steps so that the child is able to succeed. One small step leads the way to the next; it is surprising how quickly things can begin to change. Small steps you might consider include the student:

  • Wearing part of their school uniform for a few minutes at home.
  • Driving past the school at the weekend when it is closed.
  • Looking through their school books at home.
  • Joining a lesson remotely and observing with camera/mic off.
  • Chatting to a friend from school online.

Note and celebrate each small step – keep a journal or a jar of “I Can” notes. This can help remind a child of all the things they have managed to do and can give a boost on a difficult day or when preparing for a new step.

  • Dr Pooky Knightsmith is a passionate ambassador for mental health, wellbeing and PSHE. Her work is backed up both by a PhD in child and adolescent mental health and her own lived experience of PTSD, anorexia, self-harm, anxiety and depression. You can contact Pooky via www.pookyknightsmith.com or follow her on Twitter @PookyH. For her previous articles in SecEd, visit http://bit.ly/htu-knightsmith


Further information & resources

  • Knightsmith: Vulnerable students: The four domains of safety, Headteacher Update, February 2022: https://bit.ly/3GvMv3z
  • SecEd: This article first appeared in the recent Back from the Brink supplement published by our sister magazine SecEd. The 16-page supplement offers expert advice across a range of areas for addressing common barriers to education and attendance at school, and
    supporting students at risk of dropping out or falling through the gaps. Download this for free via https://bit.ly/3CqbwfW