“Help me fall back in love with my job.” A number of my coachees have said this to me early on in our relationship. They are tired, demotivated, irritable with their work and their colleagues. This is challenging as we are all relational creatures.
Some of these school leaders have started to depersonalise their feelings, attitudes, and responses to others. It is a feeling of heaviness – some describe it as “running on empty”. More of this later.
Interestingly, they all appear to be functioning at work, no-one has noticed any changes and standards do appear to have dropped – yet.
They will be operating at what we might call “burn-on” level – which is a staging post before we reach “burn-out”.
Burn-out is a state of physical, mental and emotional exhaustion, which will not lift no matter how much sleep or rest we get.
When we are “burning on”, however, we are perhaps continuing to overwork ourselves even when we know we are on the edge of our ability to cope. It is continuing to feel pressure for prolonged periods of time and to such an extent that we cease to find the joy and passion in what we are doing.
There may be many contributing factors to this sense of “burning on”, but two common issues are:
The impact of technology: Today, the ability to switch off is harder. Emails to your mobile, WhatsApp, and so on all add to this inability to switch off. It feels like you are on duty constantly. It all means that parents and others can too readily send emails to you at all hours leading to a loss of your working day timeframe and boundaries – a blurring of home and work. When have you really finished?
Toxic environments: If the culture where you work does not allow for errors, is constantly judging how many hours you have worked, and the overarching conversation is about how busy everyone is, then this can contribute to this sense of heaviness and social isolation. Brené Brown in her book Dare to Lead (2018) talks about how loneliness can begin to manifest itself as tiredness. Are you feeling tired? Are you feeling lonely? Many modern work environments are just too pressurised, too busy, too much about the individual goal rather than the collective effort. Hence loneliness can creep in. The collective culture and sense of collective values can be lost or simply not lived by all. What is your school like?
Seven potential signs of burn-out
Recognising the signs of burn-out is crucial for early intervention and support. Occupational burn-out can manifest in various ways. Here are seven signs:
- Chronic fatigue: Persistent physical and mental exhaustion. You feel drained even after a full night's sleep and struggle to maintain energy through the day.
- Reduced personal accomplishment: You feel ineffective and question your competence. Despite your efforts, you believe you are not having a meaningful impact.
- Increased absenteeism: Frequent absences from work. Taking more sick days due to physical symptoms like headaches or gastrointestinal issues.
- Emotional exhaustion: You feel overwhelmed and unable to cope with job demands. This can lead to symptoms of depression, such as persistent sadness, irritability, and a sense of hopelessness.
- Depersonalisation: You start to distance yourselves from pupils, colleagues, and work. This detachment can manifest as a cynical attitude, lack of enthusiasm, and reduced empathy, negatively affecting relationships.
- Decreased job satisfaction: You feel a significant drop in job satisfaction and you are dissatisfied with your work environment, or lack of support, contributing to your overall stress levels.
- Physical symptoms: You have a variety of physical symptoms, including headaches, muscle tension, and sleep problems.
Taking action: Ten tips for reducing a sense of heaviness
Recognising these signs of burn-out is essential for implementing supportive measures and interventions to help manage your stress and maintain your wellbeing.
And the good news is that when we are “burning on” it is still possible to act, to put in place some preventative measures to avoid the final destination of burn-out. The key is to seek support before reaching this stage.
You can be vigilant for yourself and also for team members. Is there someone who is always on top of everything, always putting in the hours, who always seems focused? Watch out for them. They may be experiencing a sense of heaviness and either haven't acknowledged it yet or don't want to be seen as “weak”.
What can we do to help ourselves as an individual and also within the school to help everyone? Here are eight ideas.
- Consider the language that you use: It matters. It can either weigh you down or elevate you. Working on your mindset is always a good thing. An overactive inner critic will pull you down and destroy your joy. You do not have to be perfect. You can be proud of what you have achieved so far. Allow yourself to feel pride.
- Celebrate every success: Even the small ones. The glimmers of success should also be celebrated. Shout about them (literally!) and write them down. This helps you to balance negative thoughts or doubts that can develop. Remember one negative event or occurance is not a pattern or a guarantee of future outcomes.
- Control your technology-use: Turn off work alerts on your phone and laptop. Likewise, when in front of your laptop be purposeful or walk away from it. Your walk away may only be for 15 minutes, however this will help you to refresh and refocus. Decide when you are working and when you are not.
- Consider how you see ‘failure’: Consider how you view things when they go wrong. This is very much linked to the first tip – the language you use matters. Seeing mistakes as an opportunity to learn provides for optimism in your thinking and is what we constantly tell the pupils – practise what you preach in this regard.
- Know what brings you joy: Write a list of 10 things that bring you joy. Stick it up where you will see it. Do them. Make time for them. Do not deny yourself joy.
- Get outside: Make sure you get outside each day. It has a calming effect.
- Have mind and body rest periods: Having enough sleep is crucial. Set a pattern for when you go to bed. Routines help. Your brain is washed of toxins during the night. A lack of sleep prevents this. Spend some time each day simply being. This may only be five minutes. Just sit still and be. With my coachees, I will often spend three minutes just breathing. No-one has ever said “what a waste of time”. It is about slowing things down. This will help with your sleep too.
- Know who your support people are: Brené Brown suggests that you have your support people written down on a square of paper. Keep it close to you. These are the people who will be brave and dare to tell you honestly how things are. They are also the very people who you know have your back.
Wider reading to combat burn-out
The following books provide valuable insights and strategies that can help you address burn-out, manage stress, and improve your overall wellbeing and mental health.
Dare to Lead (Brené Brown, 2018): Focuses on the importance of vulnerability, courage, and empathy in leadership, providing strategies for leaders to cultivate trust and foster an environment where people feel safe to share their ideas and struggles. As professionals you can reflect on how cultivating vulnerability and empathy can reduce stress levels and improve workplace dynamics. Experienced leaders might ask: How can I create a supportive environment that encourages open communication among staff? How does embracing vulnerability impact my physical and mental health?
Detox Your Ego (Steven Sylvester, 2016): A guide to removing ego-driven behaviors that hinder personal and professional growth. The book emphasises self-awareness to achieve a more authentic and fulfilling life. You can explore how ego detoxification might alleviate chronic stress and enhance your effectiveness. Burned-out individuals could consider: How does my ego contribute to stress and burn-out in my professional life? What steps can I take to cultivate self-awareness in my work?
Exhausted: An A–Z for the weary (Anna Katharina Schaffner, 2024): A guide to understanding and addressing the various causes of exhaustion in modern life. The book covers physical, emotional, and psychological aspects of fatigue, providing practical advice for recovery. Individuals can use this resource to identify and mitigate factors contributing to their exhaustion. Questions to ask include: What are the primary sources of my fatigue? How can I implement strategies from the book to manage physical symptoms of chronic stress?
Physical Intelligence (Claire Dale & Patricia Peyton, 2019): Explores the connection between physical health and mental performance. The book offers techniques to boost energy, resilience, and overall health. You might reflect on: How can I incorporate these techniques into my daily routine? What impact does physical health have on my mental wellbeing?
Start with Why: How great leaders inspire everyone to take action (Simon Sinek, 2009): Explores how great leaders inspire action by focusing on their purpose or "why". The book emphasises the importance of clarity, discipline, and consistency in achieving success. You can apply Sinek’s principles to reconnect with your passion. Questions for reflection include: What is my core purpose? How can aligning my daily activities with this purpose help reduce stress levels and reignite my commitment?
Final thoughts
Coaching can help school leaders to pause, reflect and review, to think differently and see things from different perspectives.
As a coach, I listen, I challenge (kindly), I encourage. I am that person by your side always having your back. Many of you have quite lonely jobs and you need a thinking partner.
I leave you with this question: “What gives you hope?” I hope you know who the people are in your life who can provide this.
- Frances Robertson, having retired from headship, offers confidential support for school leaders and headteachers to ensure wellbeing and professional development through reflective supervision and coaching as well as offering educational consultancy support. Visit www.headsconnect.co.uk. Read her previous articles for Headteacher Update via www.headteacher-update.com/authors/frances-robertson