Half a million children a year suffer some form of abuse or neglect in the UK. That means seven children in an average classroom will experience abuse before they turn 18.
The NSPCC, the charity behind the child counselling service Childline, is raising awareness around the subject of emotional abuse ahead of our annual fundraising event, Childhood Day.
Childline’s trained counsellors hear regularly from young people who are experiencing emotional abuse. During the past year the service marked a 5% increase in calls on this subject, with 2,879 counselling sessions given.
Due to the numbers of counselling sessions Childline receives from young people relating to emotional abuse, the NSPCC is committed to ensuring that educators feel confident in recognising and providing support to children who may be at risk of or are already experiencing this kind of abuse.
What is emotional abuse?
There may be some confusion about what constitutes emotional abuse – it is often a part of other types of abuse and can be hard to spot, particularly within an educational setting.
Many children are at risk of emotional abuse, yet young people who encounter certain issues at home, such as addiction or domestic abuse, are more likely to experience emotional abuse.
The NSPCC defines emotional abuse as any kind of abuse that involves continual mistreatment of a child. This can take many forms, including:
- Humiliating or constantly criticising a child.
- Threatening, shouting at a child, or calling them names.
- Making the child the subject of jokes or using sarcasm to hurt a child.
- Blaming and scapegoating.
- Making a child perform degrading acts.
- Trying to control a child’s life or not recognising a child's own individuality.
- Pushing a child too hard or not recognising their limitations.
- Exposing a child to upsetting events or situations, like domestic abuse or drug-taking.
- Failing to promote a child's social development.
- Not allowing them to have friends.
- Persistently ignoring them.
- Being absent.
- Manipulating a child.
- Never saying anything kind, expressing positive feelings or congratulating a child on successes.
- Never showing any emotions in interactions with a child, also known as emotional neglect.
In Childline counselling sessions where emotional abuse was the main concern being discussed by a young person, the most common sub-concern was being shouted at or verbally abused, with 52% of emotional abuse-related counselling sessions mentioning this.
Effects of emotional abuse
Emotional abuse can have a detrimental effect on a child’s development. The NSPCC groups these effects into three primary categories – behavioural problems, mental health issues, and emotional development.
Emotional abuse can have an impact on how a child behaves and this can show in a range of behaviours, such as becoming clingier, not caring how they act or what happens to them, trying to make people dislike them, or developing risky behaviours, like stealing, bullying, or running away.
It can also impact a young person’s emotional development – this could mean they find it difficult to express or control their emotions or lack confidence. This can make it harder to make and maintain healthy relationships later in life.
Not only can emotional abuse manifest in behaviour and emotional development, but it can have an impact on their mental health. This might be seen through signs of depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts, as well as self-harm and problems forming healthy relationships.
Higher levels of depression and health problems as adults compared to those who experienced other types of child abuse have also been reported for children who experienced emotional abuse.
Signs a child may be being emotionally abused
The signs of emotional abuse may be harder to spot than with other forms of abuse, such as physical abuse or neglect. Furthermore, a child may not reveal the abuse until they reach a point in which they feel they are in crisis.
It is important to be on a look-out for the signs a child may be experiencing emotional abuse to avoid them reaching this point. Some universal signs include:
- Seeming unconfident or lack self-assurance.
- Struggling to control their emotions.
- Having difficulty making or maintaining relationships.
- Acting in a way that's inappropriate for their age.
However, these signs can vary in children of different ages. Older children might display some of the following signs, which can be difficult to notice as their emotions change as part of growing up.
- Using language you wouldn't expect them to know for their age.
- Acting in a way or knowing about things you wouldn't expect them to know for their age.
- Struggling to control their emotions.
- Having extreme outbursts.
- Seeming isolated from their parents.
- Lacking social skills.
How you can help
If a child comes to you and reveals emotional abuse, or if you have concerns that a child may be experiencing emotional abuse, it can be hard to know the next steps.
Young people may find it hard to open up about abuse, so it’s important that if they do disclose, they feel listened to and supported. Letting them know they’ve done the right thing in telling you is a great way to ensure they feel confident to reveal abuse.
Reminding the child that abuse is never their fault and reassuring them that you are taking this seriously will also build their confidence and trust in you.
It is very important that the alleged abuser is not confronted by you – this could place you in danger and also make the situation worse for the child in question.
Instead, the best next step is to report the abuse to the correct agency while the details are still fresh in your mind. Organisations that work with young people are required to have safeguarding policies and procedures in place, and following these will ensure you are reporting correctly. You can also contact your local child protection agency.
You can contact the NSPCC Helpline via telephone or email (see below). Our child protection specialists will talk through your concerns with you and give you expert advice. The Helpline can also be contacted even if there has been no abuse disclosed but simply if you have concerns about a child’s welfare – no concern is too small and early reporting can make all the difference.
The NSPCC also provides a dedicated Helpline in partnership with the Department for Education for children and young people who have experienced abuse at school and for worried adults and professionals that need support and guidance (see below).
And remember if you feel a child is in immediate danger, call the police on 999 straight away.
Childhood Day
Childhood Day is the NSPCC’s national flagship day of fundraising and action that brings communities together and gives everyone a way to help keep children safe. This year it will take place on June 7.
People can get involved by donating, volunteering, or taking on the charity’s Childhood Day Mile. All the funds raised will go towards helping the NSPCC deliver its vital services, including Childline.
Schools can sign up to take part in the Childhood Day Mile and to receive a free welcome pack to support your activities on the day. The mile can be done in any way, whether it’s running, walking, or jumping!
- Shaun Friel is the director of Childline.
Further information & resources
- Professionals can contact the NSPCC Helpline on 0808 800 5000 or by emailing help@nspcc.org.uk
- To contact the NSPCC/DfE dedicated helpline for children and young people who have experienced abuse at school and for worried adults and professionals, call 0800 136 663.
- For more details on the NSPCC’s Childhood Day on June 7, visit www.nspcc.org.uk/support-us/charity-fundraising/childhood-day