I see you. Every morning, you arrive at school, silently don your superhero costume, take a deep breath, and prepare to face whatever comes. Whether you're thriving or struggling, the responsibilities you carry are substantial.
I know because I've been there. As a headteacher who led through the pandemic, school expansion, and an Ofsted journey from “requires improvement” to “good”, I've experienced a full spectrum of leadership challenges.
I was once told that “85% of headship is interruption” and it is something I have never forgotten. That constant cycle of responding to needs can be both energising and exhausting.
The invisible weight of leadership
What rarely gets discussed is the personal dimension of headship:
- Family impact: Prioritising work can strain relationships. Your partner may not fully understand your role's complexities. The family event or the school emergency – what's the priority?
- The balancing act: How do you navigate being both the professional and a parent? You protect staff's right to attend their children's events while sometimes missing your own.
- Leadership isolation: In a building full of people, you can feel alone. You carry responsibilities that aren't always visible, making decisions affecting the entire school community. Can you ever please everyone?
- Personal identity: How have your social life and interests fared since taking up headship? It is not unusual for them to fade as your work demands increase.
- Physical wellbeing: It is easy to get caught in a cycle of poor sleep and postponed exercise. Even basic health maintenance like routine check-ups gets delayed.
For female leaders, navigating perimenopause or menopause can add another layer of complexity.
Teacher wellbeing charity Education Support reports that 84% of senior leaders experience stress, with 79% reporting physical or psychological symptoms (Teacher Wellbeing Index, 2024). Are we surprised?
Yet there are stories of both challenge and triumph – headteachers who lead effectively while maintaining their wellbeing.
What thriving headteachers do differently
In my work with headteachers in various stages of their careers, I have observed that those who thrive long-term share certain practices. It is not that they do not face challenges – many lead schools in complex circumstances – but they approach leadership with strategies that sustain both effectiveness and wellbeing.
Here are five approaches to adopt if you are lacking mojo and want to revive your passion and effectiveness in the long term.
1, Intentionally manage digital boundaries
Constant digital availability diminishes rather than enhances leadership effectiveness. You must regain control. Things that work for the thriving leaders I have met include:
- Removing work email from personal devices.
- Establishing specific times for checking emails, keeping programs closed otherwise.
- Creating email signatures that clearly communicate working hours.
- Implementing alternative emergency protocols that don't require constant monitoring.
For these headteachers, when they are home, they are genuinely present with loved ones.
2, Master strategic delegation
The role is not to do everything personally but to ensure everything necessary gets done. This means effective delegation. What works for thriving leaders?
- Regularly auditing tasks: "Is this something only I can do?"
- Investing time in developing the decision-making capabilities of their fellow senior leaders.
- Providing clear parameters for delegated tasks rather than micro-managing.
- Recognising that different approaches aren't necessarily wrong – just different.
This can be about letting go of perfectionism – a hard habit to break. I remember the advice of an outstanding headteacher given during my NPQH – being a good leader isn't about being involved in everything, it is about building capacity in others.
3, Protect strategic thinking time
Teachers have time away from the classroom to plan, prepare and assess. Headteachers tackling complex problems need this too. What works for thriving leaders?
- Blocking sacred time weekly for strategic work.
- Physically removing themselves from the immediate environment.
- Communicating clearly that these sessions are protected except for genuine emergencies.
- Using the time for reflection and professional growth, not just administrative tasks.
This allows them to reconnect with what they love about headship and implicitly gives permission to other senior leaders to step up.
4, Professional boundaries with confidence
Clear boundaries don't mean compromising commitment to your school community. What works for thriving leaders?
- Holding parent meetings within professional hours – explaining this policy respectfully but firmly.
- Modelling healthy work/life boundaries for staff.
- Scheduling personal and family commitments with the same priority as professional ones.
- Recognising that leadership effectiveness depends on wellbeing outside work.
There is a lot of guilt out there among headteachers who believe that having and maintaining boundaries implies they are not dedicated enough. Successful leaders put their own oxygen mask on first.
5, Prioritise wellbeing as professional development
Viewing wellbeing not as an indulgence but as a professional responsibility is essential. What works for thriving leaders?
- Beginning each day with a brief centring practice, e.g. a mindful three-minute breathing space.
- Maintaining connections with peer headteachers for perspective and support.
- Scheduling regular activities that restore energy and creativity.
- Attending to physical health proactively rather than reactively.
One headteacher who I work with schedules three non-negotiable wellbeing activities weekly. They didn't start this way – they began with one consistent activity per-term, slowly building up. James Clear's book Atomic Habits (see reading list) offers helpful insights on this approach.
A sustainable approach
What strikes me most in my work with headteachers at different stages is that sustainable leadership isn't about doing less – it is about focusing your energy where it matters most.
The headteachers who thrive over decades have learned to distinguish between urgent and important, between activities that drain them and those that energise them. These leaders understand their greatest contribution comes not from trying to do everything personally, but from creating conditions where their entire school community can flourish. They recognise that modelling sustainable practices benefits everyone.
For newer headteachers, these practices might feel counterintuitive. When facing overwhelming demands, the instinct is to work longer hours and make yourself more available. What I have experienced and observed, however, is that this approach ultimately diminishes your capacity to lead effectively.
Final thoughts
The headteachers who maintain passion and effectiveness year after year aren't superhuman – they're strategic about how they invest their energy. They understand that wellbeing isn't separate from professional effectiveness – it is the foundation that makes everything else possible.
It is time to look in the mirror and see yourself in all your humanity – not just as a headteacher, but as a whole person deserving of a fulfilling professional and personal life.
For every headteacher, whether currently thriving or struggling, remember: your impact extends far beyond what is immediately visible. The most important work often happens in the spaces nobody sees. You deserve to lead with joy, not just endurance.
- Kirsty Fitzscott is a former headteacher and founder of Coaching with KF. Through coaching, consultancy and mentoring, Kirsty helps exhausted headteachers who are facing burn-out. Visit https://subscribepage.io/coachingwithkf
Further reading
- On delegating: The One Minute Manager Meets the Monkey by Ken Blanchard (2011).
- On building good habits: Atomic Habits by James Clear (2018).
- On changing automatic responses: The Chimp Paradox by Professor Steve Peters (2012)
Further information & resources
- Education Support UK: Teacher Wellbeing Index, 2024: www.educationsupport.org.uk/media/ftwl04cs/twix-2024.pdf
- Headteacher Update Podcast: A school leadership survival guide, 2023: www.headteacher-update.com/content/podcasts/headteacher-update-podcast-a-school-leadership-survival-guide